Comments on: “They Don’t Look Like You” – Shopping Post-Adoption

By: Tio Chris

Tio Chris — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:42:03 +0000

How sad… people just don’t get what children hear and how easilly (and eager!) they are to pick up and repeat what they hear so that they learn and feel like “big people”. I wouldn’t know how to respond any better than you did either, without being rude. I think you did the right thing given the circumstances…

I’m curious, did the credit card machine ask you if your cashier was nice and pleasant that day? I’m not sure they do that anymore, it always cracked me up that they did, but then you could have at least said “Umm.. No Way!”. Or, just “No”, I guess. But there should be a more emphatic “No” choice. Not that that would have really made you feel any better, I know.

Perhaps Walmart should have a “How socially appropriate was your cashier today?” Choices include: “Perfectly Normal”, “Rude”, “Just plain awkward”, or “Didn’t Speak to Me”.

By: Kim

Kim — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:54:08 +0000

Not yet, but it’d be good to have a snappy retort, as long as it wasn’t rude back!

By: Lauren

Lauren — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 04:30:06 +0000

Yikes! I’m glad you are keeping their little hearts in mind as you field these kinds of questions. I’m curious…have you come up with any good boundary statements?

By: Kim

Kim — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 02:16:10 +0000

Unfortunately, Beth, it’s not a Wal-Mart-specific problem. We’ve experienced it across the board: church, school, family gatherings, the mall… people just don’t always stop to think about how they sound before they speak.

But thanks, all, for your comments. It helps to know it doesn’t just sound “off” to me. (Although please do feel free to let me know if I DO start getting hyper-sensitive!)

By: Malcolm

Malcolm — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:50:57 +0000

It’s amazing the things people feel like they can ask when you fall out of the norm. You’re absolutely right you don’t need to educate everyone on adoption. I think educating her on boundaries was the right thing!

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:14:55 +0000

Where was the Lady headed with that conversation?? I think people forget that all young kids are sensitive to adult approval, and that tan skin doesn’t mean that English isn’t understood. You did the best you could there I think.

By: Suzie

Suzie — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:26:58 +0000

That’s disappointing and I’m sorry the boys overheard it but they have great parents that can explain things like that in a positive and educational way. Not sure I could have handled that as well.

By: Laurel

Laurel — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:36:42 +0000

Boundaries are good! You go, girl.

By: Beth Black

Beth Black — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:50:02 +0000

Classy. You know they only hire the cream of the crop at Wal-Mart.