College versus Accidental Vehicular Manslaughter

H:  Mama, what happens if a kid drives a car and runs over another kid and that kid dies?  [No, I do not know where they come up with these things.]

Me:  Wow, that would be really sad.  That kid would feel really bad about that, probably for the rest of his life.

H:  And he would go to jail?

Me:  No, kids don’t go to jail.  [I'm assuming they're thinking "he" is a 6 year old like them, so don't fault me on this answer, please!]

J:  Oh! (lightbulb!)  They might have to go to Trade School?

(yes, because a career as a professional electrician, plumber or mechanic definitely equates to hard-time in prison.  ???)

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More Truth Than I KNEW in Those Lullabies

[The boys recently got into listening to old baby CDs Fred's mom bought us before we brought them home] Read the rest of this entry

I realized after posting yesterday’s post that I’m using terms that people outside the adoption community don’t encounter all that often, if ever.

What is an “apostille?”

An apostille is an official State seal (a sticker on a piece of paper or a stamp) that authenticates a prior seal of approval at the county level for that state.

For prospective adoptive parents preparing an adoption dossier for another country, we go through a set of steps that adequately authenticates every document we include.  The process is: Read the rest of this entry

Our (notarized and county sealed) Home Study Addendum arrived via FedEx on Monday, so after school yesterday the boys and I headed down to Annapolis on our quest for the magic sticker Maryland State Apostille.

So that’s done and off to El Salvador!  Now back to waiting.

The boys are huge fans of the You Wouldn’t Want to… book series. 

For those of you who have some how MISSED these gems, they include such greats as You Wouldn’t Want to Be a World War II Pilot: Air Battles You Might Not Survive (currently on our shelf), You Wouldn’t Want to Be an 18th Century Convict: A Trip to Australia You’d Rather Not Take (No offense to my Australian readers – ie. Von.), and You Wouldn’t Want to Be Mary Queen of Scots: A Ruler Who Really Lost Her Head.

Check your local library.  They’re awesome.  Especially for boys.

But anyway.  Fred and I – but especially I, ’cause I’m prone to such things as extensive geneological researching, and also spend nearly all my time with said children —  have been very conscious of the fact that giving them a thorough connection to their own roots is very important. 

And that that means doing some extra research.  Because their roots are not our roots (though they’re welcome to partake in all our Euro-straight-to-U.S.-American fun-and-games, of course!)

So we’ve read about Guatemala, TRAVELED back to Guatemala, read about the Maya, CLIMBED their pyramids, studied Spanish… I’m still looking for a socially acceptable way of asking some of the Latino men I know just what it is that they’re wearing that smells so good, so I can buy it to put on the boys (who frequently smell like sweat and “tootle”)… but I digress… Read the rest of this entry

…or so it feels.

We got a call from our agency last week that OPA (remember them?  WE almost didn’t) is requesting clarification on Fred’s and my child care plans for the additional children.  That is, they want to know specifically what Fred’s work hours are [suddenly, "full time," as stated in our Home Study Report is too vague... after the report has read that way for over a year and a half] and when he is available to spend time with his children. 

And, also, noting that the number of children with whom I would be “home full-time” would be doubling, was I planning on hiring a nanny?  (Haha, I WISH!  Pero, no.)  Or using daycare?  (<<No saben ustedes que significa “home full time with the children?”  En verdad?>>)  Ahem, also “no.”

I plan on taking care of the next two in much the same fashion as I did the first two.  And if that means sending the older boys to our local public school so that their education doesn’t take an unacceptable hit as I work with the next two in their transition here, then that’s what we’ll do.  I’m hoping to keep them all here together, though, so the siblings can bond even as the newer ones adjust to me and to Fred — and to life in these Estados Unidos.  (Also because the twins are thriving with the home schooling connections we have!)  But we’ll see.  At any rate, sí, por supuesto tenemos un plan.  We’ve had more than 2 1/2 years to come up with it, already! 

And now you, mi querido público, know it, too. 

Very specific questions.  Pretty sure they’re already implicitly covered in the report we sent one year and eight months ago. 

And we have 30 days to respond.  Read the rest of this entry

A few good reads from this week.  As always, I don’t necessarily agree with all the opinions expressed but do appreciate that they were expressed and provided perspectives worth considering.

Adoption-Related Links:

“The List” over at Shaun Groves – Shaun and his wife are considering adoption and their social worker gave them this exercise to paint a vivid picture of all their child will have lost in the process of becoming their child.

“Pennsylvania, Adult Adoptees Still Waiting for their Rights” by Amanda at The Declassified Adoptee, advocating for access to ones own birth records.

Transracial Adoption – a 16 minute video. Read the rest of this entry

I follow an adoption agency blog for another agency than our own because they usually have fairly good updates on the state of the adoption process in El Salvador.  And our agency doesn’t have a blog, so I only get updates for them when I email them my monthly “how’s it going?” check-in.

And usually, this other blog is pretty facts-only, and I find it helpful.

Their most recent post, however, really bothers me.  (And I’m not going to name them because that’s not the point, and also because their clients’ names are in the post, and while it’s out there on the Internet, my purpose isn’t specifically to criticize them.  But to point to what I think is a problem “out here” in adoption land in general.)

The post begins with the usual facts-only update, but then it goes into a Q&A format.

About “how many birthmoms have been found,” what they’re doing to find more women in El Salvador willing to place their children for adoption, that they have a marketing strategy to reach more women and acquire children (and by “children,” it seems they really just mean “babies”) ”in a massive way” [their words]. Read the rest of this entry

January 22 - Hace cuatro años, hoy, nos encontramos los dos niños que se habían convertido en nuestros hijos.  Four years ago today we met the two small men who had become our sons.  A surreal day.  For me and for Fred it was exciting and joyful, one of those days we will remember even when we’re old and senile and so much else has long since slipped our minds.  The day we met the little guys we’d been praying for, planning for, and waiting to meet as we received update pictures. 

There they were.  Our boys.  And what adorable and sweet little people they were. Read the rest of this entry

I don’t know if it’s that everyone made a New Year’s Resolution to write more in-depth blogs or what, but there were tons of great, thought-provoking posts written this week!  So this is going to be my longest link-roundup to date.

As always, I don’t necessarily agree with all the opinions expressed but do appreciate that they were expressed and provided perspectives worth considering.

Adoption-Related Links:

“Why Didn’t You Say Something?“ at The Declassified Adoptee on why she waited until her adulthood to really verbalize her feelings on having been adopted – and the Adoptee Rights advocacy she’s involved in today.  Also, earlier this week, she wrote “January 3rd: One Year Ago We Said “Hello Again.“ – about the day she spoke with her first mother for the first time in nearly 25 years.

“Why Continue?” at Our Little Tongginator – adoptive mom in process for a second time on their reasons for adopting, even as some people strongly disagree with her choice to do so.

“Adoption Investment“ at Adoption Paradox – her feelings on being told that being adopted cross-culturally gives her “the best of both worlds.” Read the rest of this entry

H. lost his second tooth this week.  First “lost” it by pulling it out of his mouth.  And there was great rejoicing in the land and much showing-around of the tiny prize.

Then “lost” it altogether.  We’ve looked.  I think it’s possible he left it near a pile of crumbs that someone in the family mystery elves didn’t clean up from the night before.  And I didn’t even notice it when I was wiping up.

And the young prince grew concerned that this might result not getting his coin.

But fortunately for all the citizens of this kingdom, the Tooth Fairy is a gracious character, especially when it’s probably her own darned fault for cleaning up the kitchen before having her morning coffee when there might be small teeth lying around.  The lad shall have his coin.  With accompanying reminder that he must relinquish the next one in the more traditional manner.

The End.

P.S.  Thanks, Ali, for the $1 coins!  This is the first one he’s gotten (we just gave him a quarter for the last one), so he’ll be surprised!