I was having the boys write the date on some of their schoolwork today, and it hit me that we sent our paperwork to El Salvador nine months ago this week.

Nine months.  So if I had gotten pregnant at that time, I’d be giving birth right about now.

9 Months Adoption Paper Pregnant

But I didn’t get pregnant.  No, “all” I did was send a huge dossier to El Salvador.  Many in the adoption community refer to that as being “paper pregnant.” 

But then our dossier had to be translated into Spanish.  Later I was told it was submitted for review at OPA in August.  Around the 11th – my birthday, so I remember that.  But OPA, when we checked while I was in El Salvador, has it date-stamped “Received Sept. 16th, 2009.”  So it quite possibly sat on someone’s desk somewhere for a whole month before anyone acknowledged it’s presence.

This is where the virtue of “Adoption Patience” comes in.  It’s similar to just regular plain-old patience, but with the occasional “what on earth?!” thrown in there.  And then a whole, WHOLE lot of silence.

The last “action” our dossier saw was a request for doctors’ licenses back in October.

And we wait.

And wait.

I know the Asian elephant has a gestation period of 645 days (as opposed to the human 266), but I have no idea what a Salvadoran-Adoption-by-Foreign-Parents is going to take.  There’s no formula.  Many people quit in frustration and switch countries (Ethiopia seems to be a popular choice) before making it through the process.  But for those of us who are pretty sure E.S. is where God wants us, there’s no set time-table.

It could be months, years, or never before we hear we’ve been approved.  One big question mark.

It’s a weird place to be, especially when people (inevitably) ask, “Weren’t you in another adoption process?”  (past-tense, ’cause now THEY’RE not even sure they got it right).  Why yes, yes we were … and are … and ever-more shall be, until… well, we don’t know.

It’s quite possible that I’m going to NEED the patience I’m acquiring now when the little one(s) arrive(s).  I remind myself of that.

But, seriously, there are little people down there with no parents to take care of them – I know; I played with some of them.  And the longer they sit there, the harder it is for them ever to adjust to life in a family.  To believe they can trust someone else, to rest in a permanent, unconditional love.  They ought to have that. 

Not so we can “get our kids,” but so they can get their parents.

9 months “paper pregnant” and ????? to go…