Incredible Shrinking Parents

[Discussing the last day of summer camp]

Me: Remember, guys, you need to take your shoes off before you get in the moon bounce, so you don’t hurt someone, ok?

José: Are you going to go in the moon bounce, too?

Me: No, the bounce is just for the kids.

J: Yeah, if the mommies want to go, too, they’re gonna have to shorten up!

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Is That What I Sound Like?

[Stuck behind a slow driver the other day]

H: Oh come ON, buddy!

J: Mama, is he just LEARNING to drive?!

[Oh boy...]

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PLEASE Just Don’t Cancel the Fireworks!!!

[On our way to the local fireworks show, starting to rain]

Fred: Hey guys, just so you’re prepared in case it happens: if it starts to thunder, they’re going to cancel the fireworks show, and we’ll have to come home.

[Insert much protest from the young men]

Me: Well, guys, I know you’d be disappointed, but they have to think of the safety of all those people sitting out in the field.

Fred: Yeah, it’s not safe to be sitting out in the open if there’s lighting

Heriberto: But everyone could just stick their bottoms up!

[Problem solved... with the incorporation of some very obscure last-ditch-tip from at least a year ago.  Wow.  And then: what a mental picture!]

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Gonna Keep Working on That Vocab, If It’s All the Same

[Woke up to a banging sound this morning.  Came downstairs to find the boys in the office, with scissors and a Gatorade bottle filled with solid ice]

Me: What are you doing?!

J: Hey, Mama, we isolated a lightning bug!

H: It was Lydia’s idea.  [Lydia is one of a pair of twin girls with whom we spent yesterday]

[Too bad Lydia doesn't have any better grasp of the English language than we do!  "Isolated" = "Ice-o-lated" = "Froze" ... poor lightning bug]

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Higher Math

Fred [who, God bless him, has taken on teaching the boys their basic math facts to memorize over the summer]: What’s 9 + 3?

J [after a pause]: I don’t know.  I ran out of fingers.

Open Adoption Roundtable #26: Talking about siblings in adoption at Mama C and the Boys on discussing biological siblings of adopted children with the adopted siblings of those children (got all that?).

Birth Parent Bias? at SocialWrkr24/7 : Eyes Opened Wider which I appreciated reading because when I did children-and-family therapy, before I was an adoptive parent, it used to frustrate me to no end how many times courts would reunify kids with their parents only for them to be re-abused repeatedly.  She presents the other side of that thought process.

He Has Had Enough, Thank You Very Much at The Dalai Mama on her son’s response to her making sure he has plenty of opportunities to play with other kids who look like him.

Crazy, Emotional Week at Elaine’s Blog – on being the secret granddaughter in her biological family (she was adopted into another one, but is reunified with her first).

Something to Think About at Linda’s El Salvador Blog (not an adoption topic – yes I do read other blogs, too!) – on the “luxury” of trash removal.

Parenting While Not Noticing Race at Adoption Talk (why she’s against it).

For little hearts to heal at Rileys in Uganda discusses the child-trafficking issue that intersects with our adoption world.

I want a mom who never goes away at Percolated Paradox by an adult foster-care “graduate” on the effects of never having a permanent family.

Living with the mess at Pound Pup Legacy provides personal perspective on why foster and adopted children sometimes hoard food or other items – worth the read for anyone parenting one of these kids.

“My Salvadoran Crocodile Dundee” at Latina-ish – is a funny account of the valience of Tracy’s marido (husband) in saving their family from a very persistent snake.

“Love and Regret” over at Adoption Choices – A hopeful and inspiring post about the reality of living in an open adoption (while honest that it’s not always easy).

“We are here!” at Our Little Tongginator – After 5 years of waiting, my friend Tonggu Mama is on her adoption trip (with husband, mom and daughter) to bring home their second Chinese-American daughter.

“First-world problems that are ruining the lives of my children“ at Rage Against the Minivan - echoes conversations I’ve had with a number of my friends, lately.

“Dylusions – Day 6“ at 1036 Art – my “real-life” friend Ellen became my “blog-life” friend over a year ago when she started her own arts-and-crafts blog.  I check it regularly, and I really liked this particular piece (partly because I need that reminder on a regular basis).  But wander around her blog for a while – she’s exceptionally talented!

“Picking your parents: Adult adoption on the rise“ at Pound Pup Legacy.  Since we have one in my immediate family, this article landed near my heart.

And a series from a little while back by my friend Danielle in El Salvador:  “Trip to Morazán – Part One – Museum of the Revolution “, “Trip to Morazán – Part Two – Guerilla Military Camp“, and “Trip to Morazán – Part Three – Memorial at El Mozote“ – covering a piece of Central American history of which we tend to be unaware here in the U.S.  Yet the repercussions are with us today – most visably in the current “immigration issue” debate.

My cell phone rang at midnight Friday, and it was the head of our church’s Hispanic ministry calling.  Since midnight is a little late to write it off as a “pocket dial” I grabbed the phone and started getting dressed.  The last four days have been a bit insane because I did.  But I’m so glad I did. 

At just before midnight, the house of a few of our Hispanic group members caught fire.  Not just any members, and not just any house.  It was the home of my now-very-good friend Reina, who I wrote about last year and who is expecting a baby girl at the end of April with her hubby Carlos.  She doesn’t have a car, so I’ve been taking her to her doctors’ appointments, and I’ve gotten to see her baby girl twice on the ultrasound screen.  So, yes, I’m pretty attached to this family. 

This also happens to be the house and the group who generously hosted the twins’ Fiesta de Cumpleaños last summer.  And we very well could have lost all of them. 

The cause of the fire is still under investigation, but it started outside the house on the wall shared with both the front door and the bottom of the stairs leading up to the second floor.  We had unusually high winds on Friday night, so the fire spread up the side of the house very rapidly.  All but one of the 10 people who were there that night were asleep.  It was that one who ran around, woke everyone up and then escaped with his own wife and their baby daughter whose hair actually started to smolder on their way out.  Reina and Carlos and several of the others had to find their way out through 2nd-story windows, since smoke was already filling the house and one whole side wall was ablaze. 

I arrived at 12:30 to a fire scene unlike any I’d ever seen.  I read later that there were 60 firefighters, which makes sense because there were so many engines, police cars, and flashing lights everywhere.  Foam and water gushed down the street.

As I made my way up to the house, I saw one of the woman being wheeled away on a stretcher.  She had leaped from her second floor window with her boyfriend and landed on her back.  They rushed her to Shock Trauma where, miraculously, they found she had no broken bones or long-term damage. 

It was a night where such miracles interwove with total devastation.  The fire was so large and spread so quickly that it took over an hour to put out.  Everything they owned was still inside the house:  ID, cell phones, paychecks, photos of family members back in Central America… as well as all their clothing and other possessions.  There had been no time to gather anything.

Reina told me the next morning that she went from being sound asleep to waking up to the smoke alarm and Carlos yelling to her “Get out the window!”  She said he didn’t even say there was a fire; he just smashed the (stuck) window with his arms, hustled her through, and followed.  She said once she realized what was happening and how big the fire already was, her only thought was for her younger brother who slept in another part of the house.  Her brother and mine are just about exactly the same age, so I could totally imagine how relieved she felt to see Luis and his best friend Mario already standing in the back yard. 

One by one, everyone was accounted for.  By 2:30 a.m. when the fire investigator let them leave, “Don Mario” (our director) and I divided them up and brought them back to our houses to sleep.  We returned with everyone the next morning, and it was then that the extent of the loss really sank in. 

As I look back at last summer’s pictures, it’s surreal that we went from this: 

…to this: 

We spent the rest of Saturday picking up basic necessities and driving everyone to family members’ and friends’ homes where they can stay temporarily.  But just before we left the house, I turned and quickly snapped this picture:

It’s the window through which my friends escaped.

Here are the faces of just a few of the friends I didn’t lose this past weekend.  Those from the house who I didn’t really know before the fire have become friends, now, too.  And I am so, so thankful that they are alive. 

I’ve spent the last few days organizing the relief effort through our church.  My phone has been ringing and ringing, and emails keep streaming in from people who want to help these families.  And it’s hit me that what started out a year and a half ago with an idea of “connecting our kids with more people who share their heritage,” “having someplace to practice our Spanish,” and “hopefully being helpful to one of our church’s ministries in the process” has become something altogether different.

I love this crew.  As I drove home on Saturday, past some incredible brush fires that swept through our area, I cried in my van.  And I’m no crier, most of the time.  But it hit me just how much I’m not prepared to lose any of these friends from this little “Iglesia Hispana” that Mario’s been trying to grow for the last six years.  Some of them are like family, now, and the rest could be.

“Cultural Exposure,” indeed.  I’m hooked.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

H:  Mama, what happens if a kid drives a car and runs over another kid and that kid dies?  [No, I do not know where they come up with these things.]

Me:  Wow, that would be really sad.  That kid would feel really bad about that, probably for the rest of his life.

H:  And he would go to jail?

Me:  No, kids don’t go to jail.  [I'm assuming they're thinking "he" is a 6 year old like them, so don't fault me on this answer, please!]

J:  Oh! (lightbulb!)  They might have to go to Trade School?

(yes, because a career as a professional electrician, plumber or mechanic definitely equates to hard-time in prison.  ???)

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More Truth Than I KNEW in Those Lullabies

[The boys recently got into listening to old baby CDs Fred's mom bought us before we brought them home]

Real Lyrics:  Sleep sound in Jesus, my baby, my dear…

Jose’s Interp.:  Sleep sound in Jesus, my baby, my Liege…

(yep, that’s pretty much how it feels… no parent I know has ever thought THEY were in control of the infant-schedules!)

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The Hills are Alive… Though Slightly the Worse for Wear… 

[We're studying WWII, and so I thought it was a great time to introduce the boys to The Sound of Music... Overall, they liked it, though Heriberto kept asking "WHEN are the Nazis COMING?!!!" and they weren't really sure what to do with the slow parts.   So they started wrestling.  But then the story would pick back up, and they enjoyed a lot of the songs.  Misinterpreted them, yes, but enjoyed them!  Some examples:]

“A Few of My Favorite Things”

H:  “When the door breaks, when the bee stings…” 

(Very appropriate that he heard “household destruction” in that song… ’cause that’s pretty much what happens around here when they get too wound up.  All the dang time.)

“Something Good”

J:  “Nothing comes from nothing.  Nothing ever could.  So somewhere in my uterus… Mama?  She said uterus!” 

(Ah, no.  No she didn’t.   But clearly they’re paying attention to all the conversations between our many expectant-mom friends and me!)

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For more TTT, visit my friend Mary’s blog carnival at NotBefore7!

Then “lost” it altogether.  We’ve looked.  I think it’s possible he left it near a pile of crumbs that someone in the family mystery elves didn’t clean up from the night before.  And I didn’t even notice it when I was wiping up.

And the young prince grew concerned that this might result not getting his coin.

But fortunately for all the citizens of this kingdom, the Tooth Fairy is a gracious character, especially when it’s probably her own darned fault for cleaning up the kitchen before having her morning coffee when there might be small teeth lying around.  The lad shall have his coin.  With accompanying reminder that he must relinquish the next one in the more traditional manner.

The End.

P.S.  Thanks, Ali, for the $1 coins!  This is the first one he’s gotten (we just gave him a quarter for the last one), so he’ll be surprised!

And, lo, José has found a whole new way to torment his brother:

I suppose I should be glad his spelling is coming along nicely???

Much Love,

Kim and La Familia

Usually.

Then there’s the one day of the year during which we shake angry fists at the local flora.

Leaf Raking Day.

It’s become a tradition in our house to put in one huge leaf-raking effort on Black Friday.  Mainly because a) both Fred and I hate shopping and can’t imagine ever putting ourselves through the Black Friday rush, and b) we’ve usually procrastinated on the leaf issue up till that point, and then we’re ready to put up the outside Christmas decorations.  So it’s kind of a forced issue.  Plus it’s starting to get too chilly to even consider waiting any longer and subjecting ourselves to the deep freeze by doing it in December.

And so this weekend, we rounded up the young lads – including a spare, my youngest brother, Tío Steven – and headed out with bags and rakes and blowers in-hand.

Five hours and 74 bags later, we were more than ready to be done with that for another year.

We will now return to our regular enjoyment of the park.  (And pray that the yard-trash collectors have enough space in their truck.)

Home Depot Coupons and Deals – home decor, appliances, lawn and garden

Target Coupons and Deals – lots of “free shipping on $50 or more” deals on their website, in-store sales on furniture, clothing, home decor, electronics…

Lowes Coupon Link and Black Friday information – Lowes has a complete list of their Black Friday sales on their website (linked to on our site), but visit our Lowes post to grab the free 10%-off coupon before you go!

Sears Coupons and Savings – toys & games, clothing, appliances, electronics and entertainment items… they even stayed open on Thanksgiving Day this year in order to bring in customers!  They’re really trying – so check ‘em out!

We also have links to Coupons and Discount info for a bunch of other retailers on our Home Improvement Coupons page at OPC (that I help maintain, so I do feel a bit of a kinship thereunto!) – Kmart, AJ Madison (online appliances resource), Rockwell Tools, and a few more. 

Happy Black Friday!