Well it’s been entirely too long since I’ve posted here, but that’s entirely because I haven’t known what to say.
The El Salvador adoption? Hasn’t budged an inch since we heard from them last year. And while we understand that, on the one hand, we’re getting close to being done waiting for a process that just isn’t processing. We respect the sovereign right of a country not to select international adoption for its orphans, in theory. I’m not convinced that the best-interest of said orphans is actually WHY we haven’t heard from E.S. But there are kids waiting right here in the U.S. who need familes, and as our own kids get older, more and more of them are becoming possible fits for our family.
But that’s a decision for another day.
Today’s post has more to do with the adoption we completed five years ago. The adoption of the twins who are now totally immersed in our family, our culture, and the U.S. way of life. While still maintaining a loyalty and affection for the birth family and culture they left behind when they became our sons five years ago.
Ours is one of the adoption “Success Stories.” We love them, they love us; they manifest none of the really “scary” traits of traumatized kids.
Anymore. They did. Now they don’t. But still…
We recently celebrated our 5-year “Gotcha Day” with the twins (their choice in terminology), and it was a great day of remembering when the four of us became a family. At the same time, though, it’s one of the stake-in-the-ground days when we all remember that that was Day 1 for “us.” We all had stories before that day. January 2007 was just when our 4 stories all intersected.
What I wish we had known 5 YEARS AGO is: Read the rest of this entry
Tiny Talk Tuesday is a blog carnival started a few years ago by my friend Mary over at NotBefore7 in order to capture the sweet and funny things our kids say as they’re figuring out life (and language!). Here are just a couple things heard around OUR house recently:
Incredible Shrinking Parents
[Discussing the last day of summer camp]
Me: Remember, guys, you need to take your shoes off before you get in the moon bounce, so you don’t hurt someone, ok?
José: Are you going to go in the moon bounce, too?
Me: No, the bounce is just for the kids.
J: Yeah, if the mommies want to go, too, they’re gonna have to shorten up!
Is That What I Sound Like?
[Stuck behind a slow driver the other day] Read the rest of this entry
A few good reads from this week. As always, I don’t necessarily agree with all the opinions expressed but do appreciate that they were expressed and provided perspectives worth considering.
Open Adoption Roundtable #26: Talking about siblings in adoption at Mama C and the Boys on discussing biological siblings of adopted children with the adopted siblings of those children (got all that?).
Birth Parent Bias? at SocialWrkr24/7 : Eyes Opened Wider which I appreciated reading because when I did children-and-family therapy, before I was an adoptive parent, it used to frustrate me to no end how many times courts would reunify kids with their parents only for them to be re-abused repeatedly. She presents the other side of that thought process.
He Has Had Enough, Thank You Very Much at The Dalai Mama on her son’s response to her making sure he has plenty of opportunities to play with other kids who look like him.
Crazy, Emotional Week at Elaine’s Blog – on being the secret granddaughter in her biological family (she was adopted into another one, but is reunified with her first).
Something to Think About at Linda’s El Salvador Blog (not an adoption topic – yes I do read other blogs, too!) – on the “luxury” of trash removal.
Parenting While Not Noticing Race at Adoption Talk (why she’s against it).
For little hearts to heal at Rileys in Uganda discusses the child-trafficking issue that intersects with our adoption world.
I want a mom who never goes away at Percolated Paradox by an adult foster-care “graduate” on the effects of never having a permanent family.
Living with the mess at Pound Pup Legacy provides personal perspective on why foster and adopted children sometimes hoard food or other items – worth the read for anyone parenting one of these kids.
Since I just reentered the blogosphere yesterday, this is going to be a mighty short list. But let me say, I am really enjoying reading everyone’s thoughts once again! Here are a few of the posts I recommend today. As always, I don’t necessarily agree with all the opinions expressed, but I value that they were expressed.
“My Salvadoran Crocodile Dundee” at Latina-ish – is a funny account of the valience of Tracy’s marido (husband) in saving their family from a very persistent snake.
“Love and Regret” over at Adoption Choices – A hopeful and inspiring post about the reality of living in an open adoption (while honest that it’s not always easy).
“We are here!” at Our Little Tongginator – After 5 years of waiting, my friend Tonggu Mama is on her adoption trip (with husband, mom and daughter) to bring home their second Chinese-American daughter.
“First-world problems that are ruining the lives of my children“ at Rage Against the Minivan Read the rest of this entry
(Aside from today’s Tiny Talk, which I had pre-scheduled a week ago, I haven’t made it into the blogosphere in days. The “here’s why” bears sharing since it ties in very much with a lot of what I write about here.)
My cell phone rang at midnight Friday, and it was the head of our church’s Hispanic ministry calling. Since midnight is a little late to write it off as a “pocket dial” I grabbed the phone and started getting dressed. The last four days have been a bit insane because I did. But I’m so glad I did.
At just before midnight, the house of a few of our Hispanic group members caught fire. Not just any members, and not just any house. It was the home of my now-very-good friend Reina, who I wrote about last year and who is expecting a baby girl at the end of April with her hubby Carlos. She doesn’t have a car, so I’ve been taking her to her doctors’ appointments, and I’ve gotten to see her baby girl twice on the ultrasound screen. So, yes, I’m pretty attached to this family.
This also happens to be the house and the group who generously hosted the twins’ Fiesta de Cumpleaños last summer. And we very well could have lost all of them. Read the rest of this entry
College versus Accidental Vehicular Manslaughter
H: Mama, what happens if a kid drives a car and runs over another kid and that kid dies? [No, I do not know where they come up with these things.]
Me: Wow, that would be really sad. That kid would feel really bad about that, probably for the rest of his life.
H: And he would go to jail?
Me: No, kids don’t go to jail. [I'm assuming they're thinking "he" is a 6 year old like them, so don't fault me on this answer, please!]
J: Oh! (lightbulb!) They might have to go to Trade School?
(yes, because a career as a professional electrician, plumber or mechanic definitely equates to hard-time in prison. ???)
More Truth Than I KNEW in Those Lullabies
[The boys recently got into listening to old baby CDs Fred's mom bought us before we brought them home] Read the rest of this entry
H. lost his second tooth this week. First “lost” it by pulling it out of his mouth. And there was great rejoicing in the land and much showing-around of the tiny prize.
Then “lost” it altogether. We’ve looked. I think it’s possible he left it near a pile of crumbs that someone in the family mystery elves didn’t clean up from the night before. And I didn’t even notice it when I was wiping up.
And the young prince grew concerned that this might result not getting his coin.
But fortunately for all the citizens of this kingdom, the Tooth Fairy is a gracious character, especially when it’s probably her own darned fault for cleaning up the kitchen before having her morning coffee when there might be small teeth lying around. The lad shall have his coin. With accompanying reminder that he must relinquish the next one in the more traditional manner.
P.S. Thanks, Ali, for the $1 coins! This is the first one he’s gotten (we just gave him a quarter for the last one), so he’ll be surprised!
Recently pulled our Leapfrog Fridge Phonics magnet set back out because several of our friends have toddlers who are learning their letters and can use them when they’re over. (Plus that “Every letter makes a sound, the ____ says ____” song never gets old. Oh, wait…)
And, lo, José has found a whole new way to torment his brother:
I suppose I should be glad his spelling is coming along nicely???
Happy Holidays to all of you who read, comment, and give me great food for thought on your own blogs! Christmas festivities have begun here at our house, so I’ll catch you all after the weekend!
Kim and La Familia
Our family is really fortunate to live right up against a state park. Tons of benefits: really quiet neighborhood, lots of opportunities to observe wildlife, go for hikes, teach the kids about nature… Can’t say enough good things about living here.
Then there’s the one day of the year during which we shake angry fists at the local flora.
Leaf Raking Day.
It’s become a tradition in our house to put in one huge leaf-raking effort on Black Friday. Mainly because a) both Fred and I hate shopping Read the rest of this entry