Been home for a week and a half, and for some reason this trip has thrown me into “reverse-culture shock” unlike any other I’ve been on. Maybe it’s the kids – going from CIPI to my own five year olds who can read, write, and explain the Louisiana Purchase in-detail. That we have so much stuff here, after spending one day with no running water there. Or that I was working alone most days, so I’m “debriefing” myself as I talk about my experience with everyone else who asks.
Or maybe it’s something else. Don’t know. But at any rate, I’ve been struggling with a bout of something like “survivor’s guilt.” I went, I played with some kids who have nearly nothing, and then I came back to my very-comfortable life here in the U.S. Meanwhile those same kids are heading into another week of only basic physical needs being met.
So that’s why I went into bloggy-silence for a bit there. Still processing.
But I went downtown and bought long-promised circus tickets the other day, so we can take the boys when Barnum and Bailey come to Baltimore in April. It’s not “the answer,” and I do hope to remain effected by my (albeit brief) experience in El Salvador (and to return again, when I can). But I also do need to readjust to “normal” here – though with a greater appreciation for all I have, and all I can give my kids.
Pretty sure more will come of it than that in the future, though. Not sure what, but something. Fortunately, Fred doesn’t think I’m totally whack. So I’ll keep you all posted. But for now, please accept this as my transitional post back into the blogosphere.