Thanks to those of you who have hung in with us, despite my bloggy absence.

No, we haven’t had any further news from El Salvador regarding our application to adopt there.  Not since they asked for additional information back in February.

Maybe we scared them away with our lack of a nanny?

Pro’ly not.  Seeing as how El Salvador only processed 8 international adoptions to the U.S. in the past 12 months.  More likely we’re just caught up in the stunning lack of coordinated-movement that is the El Salvador adoption process.

Sigh.

So, no, I’m not leaving anyone out of what’s going on here.  There’s just not anything going on here – NEW adoption-wise, anyway.

But our first one has proven to keep providing us with plenty to process.  More on that soon…

…and for those of you not “down with the lingo,” that’s “Prospective Adoptive Parent.”  And this part of my story is one of the reasons I went blog-silent for a solid quarter of this year.

I’ve written before about how involved we’ve gotten with our church’s Hispanic ministry.  I’ve mentioned my now-very-close friend Reina a number of times, and that she escaped February’s house fire out a second story window while 6 1/2 months pregnant.  Well, for months before the fire I was driving Reina to her pre-natal appointments and helping with paperwork and with understanding the insurance system here in our state.  ‘Cause it’s daunting even when you’re used to living here.  Completely overwhelming when you speak another language, haven’t been here long, weren’t planning on a pregnancy, and reside squarely in the working-to-survive class.

Then add a house fire and the loss of every dollar and every identifying document you own, two and a half months before your due date.

“Vulnerable” doesn’t begin to describe it.  For nearly a month after the fire, she was so stressed out that the only thing she could keep down was bananas and a little bit of water. Read the rest of this entry

After months of “no time to blog,” I’m  finally making it back online.  More on what kept me away later, but this afternoon I’ve been blessed by a good friend hosting a movie date with the twins.  So I have a whole 2 hours to myself!  (Thanks, Jocie!)

And this afternoon’s break just happens to coincide with our completing the last step of our 2nd annual Home Study Update.  That’s right, we’re now rounding out our 3rd year of this adoption process with El Salvador.  Still no decision one way or another from our most-top-of-mind Central American country, but that doesn’t mean we get to let our paperwork lapse here in the States.

I wrote last year about the process and paperwork involved in completing a Home Study Update here in Maryland.  This year, though, we had the added pleasure of needing to re-do our home Sanitation and Fire Safety Inspection in addition to the rest of the updates.

I requested ours 7 weeks ago tomorrow.  Today was the first available date.

So this morning, promptly at 9 a.m., a very nice man named Merle – who bore an uncanny resemblance to Ron Howard, so I have the theme tune whistle from The Andy Griffith Show stuck in my head, thanks Merle – scrutinized our house from top to bottom.  Just in case we’d decided to let it go to pot in the last two years. Read the rest of this entry

I realized after posting yesterday’s post that I’m using terms that people outside the adoption community don’t encounter all that often, if ever.

What is an “apostille?”

An apostille is an official State seal (a sticker on a piece of paper or a stamp) that authenticates a prior seal of approval at the county level for that state.

For prospective adoptive parents preparing an adoption dossier for another country, we go through a set of steps that adequately authenticates every document we include.  The process is: Read the rest of this entry

Our (notarized and county sealed) Home Study Addendum arrived via FedEx on Monday, so after school yesterday the boys and I headed down to Annapolis on our quest for the magic sticker Maryland State Apostille.

So that’s done and off to El Salvador!  Now back to waiting.

…or so it feels.

We got a call from our agency last week that OPA (remember them?  WE almost didn’t) is requesting clarification on Fred’s and my child care plans for the additional children.  That is, they want to know specifically what Fred’s work hours are [suddenly, "full time," as stated in our Home Study Report is too vague... after the report has read that way for over a year and a half] and when he is available to spend time with his children. 

And, also, noting that the number of children with whom I would be “home full-time” would be doubling, was I planning on hiring a nanny?  (Haha, I WISH!  Pero, no.)  Or using daycare?  (<<No saben ustedes que significa “home full time with the children?”  En verdad?>>)  Ahem, also “no.”

I plan on taking care of the next two in much the same fashion as I did the first two.  And if that means sending the older boys to our local public school so that their education doesn’t take an unacceptable hit as I work with the next two in their transition here, then that’s what we’ll do.  I’m hoping to keep them all here together, though, so the siblings can bond even as the newer ones adjust to me and to Fred — and to life in these Estados Unidos.  (Also because the twins are thriving with the home schooling connections we have!)  But we’ll see.  At any rate, sí, por supuesto tenemos un plan.  We’ve had more than 2 1/2 years to come up with it, already! 

And now you, mi querido público, know it, too. 

Very specific questions.  Pretty sure they’re already implicitly covered in the report we sent one year and eight months ago. 

And we have 30 days to respond.  Read the rest of this entry

I follow an adoption agency blog for another agency than our own because they usually have fairly good updates on the state of the adoption process in El Salvador.  And our agency doesn’t have a blog, so I only get updates for them when I email them my monthly “how’s it going?” check-in.

And usually, this other blog is pretty facts-only, and I find it helpful.

Their most recent post, however, really bothers me.  (And I’m not going to name them because that’s not the point, and also because their clients’ names are in the post, and while it’s out there on the Internet, my purpose isn’t specifically to criticize them.  But to point to what I think is a problem “out here” in adoption land in general.)

The post begins with the usual facts-only update, but then it goes into a Q&A format.

About “how many birthmoms have been found,” what they’re doing to find more women in El Salvador willing to place their children for adoption, that they have a marketing strategy to reach more women and acquire children (and by “children,” it seems they really just mean “babies”) ”in a massive way” [their words]. Read the rest of this entry

See also Part I: God, Destiny and Adoption: Were Our Kids Meant to Be Lost?

PART II:

One of the biggest objections to international adoption that we run into is the allegation (sometimes proven) of corruption in “the adoption system.”  That children have been and are being “exported” like goods.  There are documented cases of bribery of birth moms, kidnapping, and at  the very least, an advantage of the privileged over the poor, vulnerable and under-represented… the convincing of (usually single) mothers that someone else is more capable (even “worthy”) of parenting their children.

It’s not unique to international adoption.  Many of the same issues arise in debates over domestic (particularly infant) adoption as well.  I was reading a very raw an honest post by a first-mom last night that reflects the pain of her loss – and a very definite stance against adoption altogether.

Those objectors are people with stories, so we can’t just dismiss their thoughts and feelings.

As Christians, how do we face the question of whether our children could have been placed with us through unethical means?

I wish I could find a font to emphasize just how seriously we take that question. Read the rest of this entry

In keeping with what has become an annual tradition, Fred and I, the kids, my sisters and brother-in-law headed up to PA to ring in the new year at our aunt’s and uncle’s lake house.  And as I sit here, on the third New Years Eve since we began our Salvadoran adoption, looking out at the geese and the humans moving about the frozen surface, it’s hard to deny that the scenery is a fitting metaphor for our adoption process this year.

Read the rest of this entry

For those tiny few of you who are in the El Salvador adoption process like we are, I got a quick update from our agency that there is a new director at OPA (La Oficina Para Las Adopciones) – where all our files are initially screened in-country.

Fidelina del Rosario Anaya de Barillas was already listed as a Coordinator at OPA on their website (it tends to track a little behind on who’s actually in which position there).  But our Salvadoran attorney tells us she has replaced Milton Alexander Portillo. Read the rest of this entry